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The hamster died. It actually died the day after my last rant. Tori was remarkably okay with it. She held it, put it gently in a box and when I asked her if she wanted to write it a note she said "Mom, even if he was still alive he couldn't read, so what's the point." Ahhh, I've raised my clone. There weren't many tears, it was mostly logic and as she pointed out, I did everything I could to save him.

And so, one hour after the hamster died, we bought Thumper. The replacement. And life goes on.

I thought about waiting to replace the hamster but because it was the holidays and because I knew this year would be complicated, we didn't wait.

And, this year was complicated. I suppose the first year after divorce always is. Steve and I told the kids we weren't going to make them do two Christmases and that we were going to spend the holiday together. Which we did. Christmas Eve Eve, Christmas Eve Day, Christmas Eve Dinner, Christmas Eve Evening, Christmas Morning and all day Christmas Day. Steve did not spend the night (thank goodness) or that might have sent me over the edge. Steve is still Steve and I'm still happier without him in my life 24/7. He's still in my life, and always will be, and I'm glad that we're able to get along for the kids sake. But, it was a little much for me.

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